Howdy, Trixie

"I'll rock the cradle when you're gone."

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 11:13:47 GMT

Every structure is designed to fulfill a specific function. Many of these "functions" only occur every once in a great while. It's thus fascinating that most of these objects spend the majority of their time denying their function, their goal; very rarely do these objects actually achieve what they're meant to achieve (think bells, leashes, church sanctuaries). What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that something awesome is bound to happen soon.

Also, to the four or five people that still check livejournal, you'd be doing yourself a great disservice if you do not download Sam Amidon's album All Is Well. If you don't feel like springing for the whole album then at least get "Sugar Baby" and "Prodigal Son." Sweet Jesus, this is what is supposed to happen when you listen to music.

I recently realized that I stave off going to sleep because I hate the feeling of waking up, so now, at 6:16 AM, I'm going to watch 30 Rock.

Sites of displacement, or a list of body parts that ache and their potential alleviations.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:25:51 GMT

Head (dizziness; isolated, shooting pains).
Medication to reduce the swelling of nasal and auditory canals can effectively be used to treat this condition.

Ears (2).
Same as above.

Right knee (occasional shooting pains, especially when pressure is applied).
500-1000mg of acetaminophen every 6 hours, not to exceed more than 3500mg (3.5g) daily. If symptoms persist for more than one week contact your physician. In the event that you do not have a physician/health insurance, or if you are purposefully injuring yourself (consciously or otherwise), please see notes below.

Stomach (general discomfort; occasional waves of nausea).
"I believe I'll go back home. There they have food to eat, and I was starving here." Also, stop eating so many chocolates, Cathy.

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The Russian Orthodox Cathedral of the Transfiguration of Our Lord is just a couple hundred feet from my place of work. On Sundays they have a rummage sale. When I leave the store on Sunday evenings, I see all of their unsold wares assembled on the sidewalk. They're packed, rather haphazardly, into black trash bags. The quintessential black trash bags, spewing stained Cabbage Patch Dolls and tarnished picture frames onto the pavement. Every once in a while I'll pass by early enough to hear the church bells ringing. They chime much more than any other church bells I've heard. From the sounds of it one would assume that it's 37 o'clock, or somewhere in that vicinity. I've heard other passersby complain about the noise, the dull, resonating clatter that fills North Williamsburg/South Greenpoint. I don't know why anyone would complain; I enjoy the sound quite a bit. If there are bells, they should be ringing. Bells are meant to ring.

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:27:35 GMT

The dirtiest of fighting techniques (headbutting, scratching, biting, flamethrowing, bottlesmashing, bloodletting, uterinepunching), Science, have you no decency?

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 01:25:37 GMT

One must sacrifice the notes that are too large for our hands to play.

Today_|_Manietrillscunderges.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:09:58 GMT

My jacket was too small, and my bag was too heavy. I was smiling on the subway only to later angry-smoke out of my window. Fedex can eat cholera-injected strawberries.

The fraudulent self no longer recognizes the dichotomy between health and disease. The fraudulent self has been feasting on nostalgia and refusing to relieve itself. Now existing only in the Circle, the Circle that initially encompasses, but later, unwaveringly and paradoxically, induces V/vertigo. (vertigo: a longing to fall; Vertigo: a desire to be pushed). Vacillating between vertiginous vicissitudes yet always on the Border.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:39:09 GMT

Currently I do this thing. It's this thing that I do sometimes. I don't think about things, but then, sometimes, I do. And when I think about these things, these things are fine things. But then when I do this thing that I've recently been doing, I realize that what I do when I think about these fine things isn't what I do when I talk about the same "fine" things. When I talk about things I think differently about them than when I'm thinking about them. Doing this thing, the talking-about-things-and-then-thinking-that-maybe-things-aren't-the-way-I-think-about-them-without-talking-about-them thing, worries me, sometimes.

On a very possibly related note, I feel like I lose contact with more people each day. By the end of this semester I will know no one but fictitious, eyeless Guatemalans and numerous drawings of birds. But that's ok; they don't make me do that thing.

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 05:10:02 GMT

I am ready for the summer to be over and fall the come swooping in. Humidity sucks, dudes. Speaking without using subjects to no way to behave.

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:10:50 GMT

The Greeks and the Romans were speaking Chinese to the women on the train.
"Could you not teach us some German," they asked.
"But why not Swedish?"
"Creole?"
"Sanskrit?"
"Waste water maintenance jargon?"
"Construction site terminology?"
"Why, whatever would you want to say?"
"Come back. Since you left my home I have not eaten a bite. My bones are full of holes. My skin has shifted and my body bends too easily.
"To return. As you leave my house I am not eaten, the bite. My bones are filled with holes. My skin is shifted and my body bends too easily."
"He shall return. Since you left my house I do not eat. My bones are full holes. My skin shifted and my flesh bends too easily."
"Come back. When you left my home I have eaten a fly. My bones are full of holes. My skin has been moved and my body bends too readily."

Las mujeres puertoriqueñas

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:48:02 GMT

He estado pensando en español y creo que está ayudandome. Necesito aprender dos más idiomas ("lenguas" esta bueno tambien, verdad?) si quiero ir al "grad school." Quiero hablar con las mujeres puertorriqueñas en mi edificio porque yo sé que ellas conocen todos que pasan en mi barrio (es vecino el mismo? no recuerdo.), pero no puedo hablar rapidamente y mi vocabulario es mierda ahora. Tambien, no comprendo cuando ellas hablan rapidamente; solo comprendo los viejos y los niños.

La palabra del día (día es masculino, verdad?): galletazo - bitch slap.

Fui al MoMA hoy. Porque soy un estudiante de SUNY, no necesito pagar para MoMA, es gratis. Había dos dibujos de Basquiat en el exposicion Mirando a la Música, parte 2.

Es todo.

I won't lie - I kept you here tonight.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:03:25 GMT

I just want some consistency.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 08:51:43 GMT

You know what's really fun? When someone says to you, "Our whole relationship is a gamble," but by that they mean, "Our relationship is based on stupid bets we make with each other" (I haven't lost yet & plan to keep it that way.), and not that it's all a risky chance (or maybe a little of both). So is composing scientific hypotheses and formulating spreadsheets about doin' it.

I hearby challenge all of you to Word Twist battles on Facebook. All day, everyday. I have lost twice (and I plan to keep it that way).

I'm pretty sure I'm getting a job sometime soon. Either

a) working at this call bank where nearly deaf folks call in, I connect their call to someone that can hear fine, and then I transcribe what the hearing person says so that the deafy can read it as text. This could be innnncredibly boring OR really, really interesting. I'm hoping to get all of the really offensive calls, or conversations where someone is talking about writing their memoirs and going over all of the crazy stuff they've done in their life.
b) working at a New York chain coffee shop. This would be alright since I'd get some barista experience which is valuable to have, but my potential boss looks like a douchebag and it pays less than the typist job. And I think they'd be less flexible with my school schedule.
c) call girl. You know, workin' it. Oldest profession in the world! And most likely to break you forever.
d) drug dealer/liaison. I'm nearly certain there's a kid that deals from the stoop of my apartment. I go down there a lot late at night to smoke, and quite often he's either sitting on the stoop, or pacing up and down the block, looking kind of jittery. Once I heard him whistle really loudly at someone. He can definitely hook me up. Maybe I can just store all the drugs up here in my room, and just throw them down to him when he's about to make a deal. That way he won't get caught for possession, and I won't need to get into harm's way. If there's anything I'm look for in a job, it is most definitely not harm.

Those are my career paths as of now. I'm opting for option A, but will take anything that comes my way.

If the people in the pictures talked they'd say:

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 06:03:35 GMT

"My head hurts."
"Are you stressed?"
"Well..."
"Don't even think about it. Instead, think about everything you've got going for you right now."
"Well... Everything I've 'got going' is tentative at b'st. I mean, thrrrs..."
"What's that smell? Have you been drinking? I thought you were going to stop!"
"Well..."
"You know that just makes it worse."
"It's cheaper th'n buying smokes, and I'm broke!"
"Didn't you just buy a pack earlier tonight?"
"Well..."
"Did you ever go to the doctor?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'll get better on my own. I mean, I'm fineI'm fineI'm fineI'm fine."

In the immortal words of Beverly Perez-Mercado: "I think I have a dumb-dumb disease."

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:46:25 GMT

There was a time when I didn't think I was too bad at life. I had it down. When I was at The Manor I had a job, went to school, paid my rent, had a budget, shopped for groceries, and was the most popular guy on the block. Something in the past year, however, has changed (besides my locale). I buy Downy and expect it to clean my clothes; I have no clue where the tortillas are in a grocery store; I open all of my food stuffs (once I manage to find them) from the wrong end; I have trouble participating in small talk. In the olden days (O! Six months ago! How far you seem!) I had plans and I achieved them. Now, I have plans, but am perpetually realizing that planning is an obsolete art.

"Oh how you screamed."

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:56:25 GMT

New Mirah CD is so good.

"Love might just be an economy, but I don't believe in property. We don't owe nothing. And you wondered why I was so terrified."

Rethinking everything I've ever thought.

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:49:11 GMT

EDIT:

"I'm gonna fuck my best... I'm gonna fuck my friends."

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:11:50 GMT

Also, my computer is dead for a while, don't judge my bad grammar right now. This iPhone screen is too tiny to go back and edit on. Jerks.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:57:40 GMT

What is up with the world, huh? In the past week
- had a long, long, long discussion with my brother about sexuality/treatment of women by idiot boys that he hangs out with
- next night, my boyfriend gets punched the face, resulting in a chipped tooth and a night of insanity, because we "faggots" wouldn't let this macho asshole come into Robbie/Beverly's birthday party. I think seven people in total were assaulted
- a photo of a sticker that someone saw on at Portland bus stop is posted on facebook. The sticker says: "Don't catch AIDS! Don't have sex with drug users or blacks."
- another state says I can get gay married starting in 2K10.
- said goodbye to my favorites in PHX & PDX again
- started to live real life (i.e. Grocery shopping & job hunting) in brooklyn.
- got "wacky" proposed to, turned it down

Insane. Now here I sit, in a new apartment wondering what could possibly be next. Hispanic female supreme court justice, perhaps?

The incident at the party was the first time I've been directly affected by homophobic violence. It's also the first time that my "fight" (or at least "protect") instinct overpowered my "flight" instinct. Made me realize how much I love that kid (really cheesy & ridiculous, I know, but true). Needless to say, I have a lot of thoughts about it that I'm still not sure I'm done formulating.

Let's all just calm it down, alright?

You were Daniel Webster; I was the devil himself.

Tue, 26 May 2009 00:59:54 GMT

Last night I dreamed of a gang of Shakespeare scholars pulling swords from their throats and threatening my friends. Each of the gang members had five scars on his/her face.

Cross-country travel is exhausting. Partying in as many cities as possible in May.

This isn't real life, but it's strange how quickly it's come to feel like it. Lying in bed at my parents' house, watching weird reality TV, posting on livejournal. I think I'm great at adapting.

I might become an NYC bartender. What up, connections?

I stole an 8-ball from a Portland bar. Don't tell on me.

My wife is deadly:

Frank Rich, I'm looking in your direction.

Mon, 11 May 2009 16:20:06 GMT

I refuse to read one more article written by some whining, entitled journalist who is bemoaning the death of the news industry as we know it (I was tricked into my last one. Silly me for thinking that an op-ed piece called "The Press On Suicide Watch" would be about the fact that returning soldiers are now more likely than civilians to commit suicide.). Haven't they learned anything? Newspapers are closing; the public is becoming increasingly upset with the mainstream media's lack/disdain of/for objectivity; independent and freelance writers/bloggers/etc. are taking over. So why is the mainstream media's response to talk exclusively about how badly they're failing? Clearly, people DO want NEWS, but you've been viewed as insular demagogues for so long that, now that the means are viable, people are revolting, seeking information from alternative news sources. If you're going to go down, why not do so with dignity so that when you're at your final journalist gala brouhaha you can say, "Well at least we tried," right? Fucking quit crying and start doing some reporting.

Sat, 09 May 2009 21:52:56 GMT

The air is humid.
Let's read in the woods.

This weekend

Mon, 04 May 2009 06:25:56 GMT

was quite strange. In non-chronological order

- "Lists are are the most neutral and subtle form of poetry."
- Got to see Steven. Went to a party at his West Village sublet. You could hear the music floating out of the open windows from about a block away. "This has nothing to do with me." Hung out on a rooftop and pondered what kind of buildings we were looking at. "It looks like the Guggenheim meets..." "I think it's Eastern Orthodox." Debated colors.
- A homeless man inside an unjustifiably expensive coffee shop told me that he rode Seabiscuit to victory when he was just a baby. One year old, in fact. He later had to give his horse up.
- Saw Lou Reed standing on a corner with a terrier of some kind. Both look like they'd seen better days.
- Pissed next to James Franco. He is as pretty as you'd imagine.
- Saw a hilarious staged reading of a Jonathan Franzen piece. The cast consisted of (from left to right): Patricia Clarkson, Sean Wilsey, some girl I don't know, James Franco, Parker Posey, some guy I don't know whose last name I think is Hersch. It was about how New York is past her prime. Made me feel naive. Whatever, it's still the most magical place in the country.
- Saw Lou Reed & Laurie Anderson play music. Lou Reed is like your average beer-bellied uncle who has lost some of his charm in the past few years.
- Saw a band that I wasn't very into. Though someone I was with was... a lot. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
- Nearly bumped into Salman Rushdie.
- Got my living situation figured out, mostly. Started packing up some boxes. Can't wait to get out of this apartment.
- Met up with this kid who was going to give me a CD of a band that I really like. Turns out he's a go-go dancer at the club where we met. He was in his undies. He's not into orgies, but will partake, "whatever." I got my CD, had a cigarette and a drink, and promptly ran away.
- Spent too much time/money in cabs.
- Spent too much time/money on the Metro-North.
- Contemplated whether or not colloquial translations of Spanish language texts are undermining important and informative cultural differences. Differences regarding agency of the body, specifically. "Me duele la cabeza" as "My head hurts" rather than "The head hurts me" or "Me, it hurts - the head." Thought about this a lot.
- Didn't introduce myself to Martin Riker. Feel really stupid about that now (Editor at Dalkey Archive that I had a long e-mail correspondence with last year).
- Saw a raccoon hoisting itself out of my dumpster. Terrifying. Went back a couple hours later; it was still there, just staring at me.

Now I think I'm going to go drink some whiskey in the shower and then go to sleep. I was on the phone with Anne Marie joking about trying that out, but now I think it sounds like a great idea. Multitasking in the shower is one of my favorite things. If my laptop were waterproof I'd be Facebooking naked & wet all the time. Showering in the dark is also one of my favorite things, but only if there's a window in the bathroom. Currently I'm windowless, so showering in the dark seems much more pathetic, especially when drinking whiskey.

Too long? Probably.

I'd leave you all my $$$ if I knew you wouldn't save a penny.

Sat, 02 May 2009 10:04:28 GMT

I'm teaching you a new language.
What would you like to learn?
Hello
My name is
What's yours?
Pleased to meet you.
When is sunrise?
Will breakfast be served?
When did the skyline begin to resemble a death camp?
No, my mother does not support my lifestyle. Does yours?
May I enlist?
The Bavarians have left me cold.
I worry that I cannot express my worries.
The man said to gnaw through the doors.
Yes, I would mind.
Can DNA prove otherwise?
Troy Davis did not harm your liver.
You are welcome.
Good night.

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:52:34 GMT

I get on this internal high-horse of mine a lot, ranting only to myself, "Why the fuck don't they realize they're being an idiot!?" kind of stuff. Then, I hear these presumed idiots speak, and they acknowledge everything that I feel that it's my duty to point out to them. It really throws me off. How am I supposed to maintain this false sense of superiority if you keep proving me wrong, world!? I assume others are making assumptions and get my perceptions from these assumptions. Sometimes an action/sentence/gesture is simply what it is (even as I type that I want to yell at myself, "You know god damn well that's not true!" But, no, I think it is true... very, very rarely). Usually my assumptions regarding the motivations which perpetuate these actions are way off base. Stop being a dummy, you dummy.

I am very excited for people who are living their lives.
I am very hopeful for people who are ready to live their lives.
I haven't done a lot with my life, but I'm getting by.

One of my professors recently said, "You write well."
A potential (probable) future employer said I sent him a "smart" e-mail.
I am impressing (tricking) all the right people.

I nearly quoted something really embarrassing, and my image is, as we all know, all I've got. I'll paraphrase:
Let's all hang out together and discuss how crazy shit is, huh?

I preempt you, Movement.

The fog moves in and so does the fun.

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 08:01:29 GMT

Questions to ask upon awaking in a bed of snakes:

- Is the window open?
- Are they fighting?
- Are they in love?
- Is anyone else home?
- How big is my apartment in sq. ft.?
- Is this pen mine?
- Why are there scissors in this bed?
- Do they look more or less like snakes?
- Do they look more or less like something else?
- Do I feel powerful?
- Do I feel powerless?
- Am I losing blood?
- Are they?
- How long have those dust bunnies been collecting behind the door?
- Do splinters and socks get stuck to their bellies like they do to a foot?
- Did the ghosts foretell of this?

All the rest - unimportant.

Guess who weighs 320 pounds?

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 19:27:40 GMT

What I've eaten on my own in the past two days:
Nachos
Mozzarella Sticks
Non-nacho Tortilla Chips
Fried Ravioli

What I've shared with others:
Nachos
Mozzarella Sticks
Funnel Cake (2)

What I've drunk:
Orange Juice
Orange Juice + Vodka
Cran-Grape Juice + Vodka
Grapefruit Juice
Grapefruit Juice + Vodka
Red Bull + Vodka
Vodka
Cheap, nasty beer

Number of people I've kissed in the past two days:
5.

Number of people that I've kissed in the past two days that are interested in my gender:
1 & 1/2 (I think).

It has been a wild weekend. My roommate's girlfriend just went on a tirade. I heard a lot of slamming. I hope nothing's broken. I think she just left which is great news because I need a shower and she has been holed up in the bathroom all afternoon.

I'm really excited to visit Phoenix for a couple of weeks.
I'm really excited to move out of Westchester County and into Brooklyn.
I'm really excited to find a terrible, unfulfilling job (sorta).
I'm really excited to start my senior project.

There are a few things that I'm decidedly not excited about, but they're either money-based or temporary, so I don't feel the need to talk about them.

These days I'm so optimistic it makes me puke.